We were floating in the pool, he on his raft, me on mine. “A couple more days,” he said, and I nodded. “Any profound revelations?”
I shook my head. Nope, not a one.
“A computer-free month is huge,” he said. He thought for a minute and added, “Well, for you, anyway.”
My hubby could be happily internet-free forever. He logs on when he needs to for his job. At home, he occasionally looks online for crap to accessorize the already way too blingy Harley. That’s it. Me? I could click, read, and repeat for more hours each week than it takes to earn a very fine living at anything that pays even remotely well. Hence my decision to live in the 80’s for the last four and a half weeks.
I need to straight up confess that I was not completely offline for the whole 31 days. I lived mostly in a Pat Benetar decade, but took a few little excursions into this millennium. I’d planned to be email-free, and I
almost was. I deleted my email accounts from my phone for the month so I wouldn’t be tempted to read, and I didn’t falter, at least not regarding personal correspondence. I did read and reply to my work email, though. I thought it’d be best to remain employed, post-July, and my clients tend to be prolific emailers. So I made an exception.
I also went online, beyond email, for two purposes during July. A friend texted me with the URL to a
BlogHer post she thought was worthy of me breaking my internet fast. I balked, she pushed, and in the end, I trusted that her insistence deserved to be heeded. I went to read and was glad I did. I commented there and then returned to check for a reply. I followed up and then let it go.
The other time I signed on was after that horrific night in Aurora, Colorado. I logged into my Facebook account and went to exactly two pages—profiles of friends who live very close to that theater. Both were shaken, but safe. I exhaled and said a prayer of gratitude, then left without leaving so much as a word of comfort or long-distance hug. That was a mistake. I should have let them know I came by, even if the only things I had to offer were hopelessly inadequate expressions of care. To you guys: I’m very sorry. I know it’s late and I can’t undo what’s been done, but I sincerely regret not being there for you. I don’t usually excel in jackassery, but that’s pretty much what happened there.
This may sound silly, but a month ago, I thought I’d begin August transformed, somehow. A little wiser. A bit clearer. Fully centered. Thirty-one days to sane. I chose “Unexpected” for
this week’s GBE topic because I assumed (Foolishly. Arrogantly, even.) I’d have a host of small, but extraordinary moments to share. Moments that though unexpected in their specificity, served to support my preconceived notion that what stood between me and a perfectly well-balanced existence was the time I spent online.
I guess I did come to one unexpected realization: With or without the internet and for better or worse, I’m still me.
Don’t get me wrong. I had a blast in July. The hubs and I took that road trip and it was all sorts of awesome. I’ll definitely be blogging about some of that. I read a ridiculously fat stack of books, many while floating in the pool. I hosted and attended sleepovers with the grands. I slept a little more than usual, relaxed a whole lot more, and indulged my sweet tooth on vacation and beyond. My clothes no longer fit, but my renewed energy and appreciation for downtime (and butter pecan ice cream) more than make up for that. I don’t regret one lazy minute or one delectable calorie. It was a fabulous month and I can’t wait to fill you in on some of it. Don’t worry, I won’t turn into that person who holds their friends hostage to an evening of watching their vacation videos, but I do have a few good stories to share.
I’m glad I took the time. Like always happens on vacations, I suppose, it was wonderful to get away, but still, I’m grateful to be home. Not transformed, but happy. And happiness, as we all know, is a very, very good thing.
So, enough about me. Tell me, what have YOU been up to? I’ve missed you guys! Catch me up, please. How was your July?
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Written for this week’s GBE topic, “Unexpected.” If you’d like to blog with us, just clickety-click. All are welcome!
You wouldn’t like it if someone stole your words, so please don’t steal the work of photographers and graphic artists to provide images for your blog.
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